APPsolutely Fabulous

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1100+ Women Bashing Jokes

Over 1100 jokes about the female gender.
Sharing function

Over 1100 jokes about woman. Most of these jokes(well all) are completely teastless, however, they are funny (well some). Women please don't download you will only get offended, unless of course you have a sense of humour(if you do you'll be the first, hahaha)

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Add your own stories
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"Climbing to the top of the career ladder does wonders for a woman's self-esteem.
But it ruins her p***y."

"A woman walked into a library and asked for a book on euphemisms.
So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it. "

"I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way.
Through the driver's door."

"Why does every man need a woman?
Because the dishes would get to piled up without one."

"How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it."

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

2000+ Funny Quotes

Over 2000 funny quotes from the worlds of fact and fiction. A huge collection of humorous and thought provoking quotes from some of the biggiest characters of our time.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
Spike Milligan"

"Once you're dead you're made for life.
Jimi Hendrix."

"Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
Alan Coren"

"This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.
Clint Eastwood."

"You're only as good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz "

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

900+ Yo Momma and friends

Over 900 classic and new 'Yo Momma' and friends Jokes.

Over 900 classic and new 'Yo Momma' Jokes. Also to give Yo Momma' a break I thought I have included some of the same kind of jokes about other people in yo life.

Never again run out of an opportunity to insult your emeny's(friend's?) mothers. Guaranteed laughs every time with these very funny jokes.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"Yo Momma so fat she saw a school bus go by and yelled " TWINKIE!""

"Yo Momma So Ugly, I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo."

"Yo Sister's so stupid she could trip over a cordless telephone."

"Yo Dog's so stupid he bury's his own tail"

"Yo Momma so fat, she sells shade in the summer."

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

Cannoli Kitchen

Cannoli Kitchen has gone mobile! Check out the menu, daily special offers, coupons, post reviews, find the nearest Cannoli Kitchen location, and more.

Funny Advice

Funny advice, definitely not to be taken seriously or literally.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Add your own stories
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"For spotless results, clean your house with Clearasil."

"Take up meditation!
It beats sitting around doing nothing. "

"Smokers. Save on matches and lighters, by simply lighting your next fag from the butt of your last one."

"Hospitals. Increase the revenue from on-site car parking by selling off the cars left by dead patients. "

"I saw a sign today which said 'Stop Look and Listen'.
So I did.
Got hit by a f*****g train."

Little Johnny Jokes (800+)

Over 800 of the infamous Little Johnny jokes
Share with email/SMS
Random button

Over 800 of the infamous 'Little Johnny' jokes. ***Strongest possible warning, These jokes are rude, dirty, contain swearing and will offend most people***

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"The Teacher said to little Johnny, "use harassment in a sentence."
Little Johnny said, " Her mouth said no, but her ass meant yes.""

"During class little Johnny kept swearing, everything was f**k this and f**k that. Teacher "Johnny, that is not a word a ten year old should be using"
Johnny "there are worse words than that miss, like murder and death"
Teacher "No Johnny, the word you keep saying is much, much worse than murder and death"
Johnny "I disagree miss, I bet you would rather be f****d than killed""

"One night, Little Johnny went to sleep and dreamt his Uncle Bill died. He woke up and that evening, his dad got a call saying that Uncle Bill died. The next night, Little Johnny went to sleep and dreamt his Aunt Joy died. He woke up, and then that evening, his dad got a call saying that Aunt Joy died. He told his daddy, "Two days ago, I had a dream Uncle Bill died, and then yesterday, I had a dream Aunt Joy died. His dad said, "that's just a coincidence." The next morning he tells his dad, "I had a dream that my dad died." His dad was terrified. He had the worst day at work and took every precaution. He didn't eat any of the food in case of food poisoning, and he drove slowly in case of a car wreck. When he finally got home, Little Johnny's mom asks him how his day at work was. "Much more horrible than your day I'm sure," his dad replied. "I don't know," said his mom, "The milkman dropped dead on the front porch today!"

"One day there was this little boy named Johnny he had to go to the bathroom so he raised his hand and asked the teacher "can I go to the bathroom." she said no.

Then 5 mins later he raised his hand and said "damit I have to piss can I go to the bathroom.” She said "no not with that mouth.” She said now go to the corner and say your a.b.c.'s frontwords and backwards

He went to the corner and said "a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z"

Then he said "z,y,x,w,v,u,t,s,r,q,o,n,m,l,k,j,i,h,g,f,e,d,c,b,a"

Then she said "Where is the p."

Little Johnny said "Running down my leg.""

"Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"

Daddy is relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.

Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.

Johnny cries out "HANG ON TIGHT DADDY! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!""

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.